Melissa Auf der Maur Reflects on Life in Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, and the 90s Music Scene

Melissa Auf der Maur, bassist for Hole and later the Smashing Pumpkins, has released her memoir, ‘Even the Good Girls Will Cry’, offering an unflinching look at her experiences as a woman in the tumultuous 90s rock scene. The memoir details the death of her father, Nick Auf der Maur, a Montreal politician and activist, and her role in helping him through assisted dying. Melissa describes joining Hole just weeks after the death of bassist Kristen Pfaff and during Courtney Love’s grief following Kurt Cobain’s suicide. She recounts the chaos of touring and recording with Love, balancing extreme drug use, corporate pressures, and the presence of Love’s young daughter. Auf der Maur also shares her personal journey, leaving Hole at the height of fame to tour with the Smashing Pumpkins and later beginning a relationship with Dave Grohl. The book highlights themes of female independence, resilience, and the struggles faced by women in rock, while blending humour with tragic, chaotic moments. Melissa’s reflections emphasise self-discovery, dealing with grief, and understanding complex women, aiming to inspire readers to follow what truly resonates with them.